Thank You, For the Lesson in Manners

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“I don’t think there is a market for that,” Mike said to me. Chad was silent. “You’d have to check and see. What competitive research have you done?” he continued.  “Well, I haven’t found anyone doing this,” I countered. “How do you know if there is any demand? he asked. Now I was silent…and slightly embarrassed. The zoom call continued, moving on to Chad and the other students.

I had recently invested in becoming a certified Etiquette Instructor and wanted to add that to my speaking material in a “dental” kind of way. You know, “Miss Manners” stuff. Only, in the two-day intensive training I got, I learned it is much more than “Please” and “Thank you.”  It’s also more than knowing which fork to use. It is knowing how to put others at ease.

And that’s pretty comprehensive, actually.

Joe Biden hasn’t done a very good job at that over the years. Just one week before the news broke of a woman charging him with inappropriate behavior, I saw an entire video of numerous clips of Mr. Biden touching and nuzzling little girls. Every one of them looked very ill at ease. Even the parents were having difficulty masking their discomfort.

I went to a search engine and entered “Joe Biden manners.” The articles that populated just page one were quite interesting, to say the least. This quote by Rich Lowry “His indiscriminate touchiness — just like his indiscriminate talking — shows a fundamental lack of consideration for others and of self-control.“1 pretty much summed them all up.

He clearly didn’t  “get it.”  

Joe needs a lesson or two in manners. He hasn’t the correct idea of how to put others at ease.

And it’s not just him. It’s become “uncool” lately for men and boys to be empathetic. Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Obviously, this is backfiring badly in society.  (#MeToo)

It Starts At Home

The amount of time parents spend instructing and teaching their children life skills has diminished. Children up to 8 spend an average of 2 hours 19 minutes a day on a screen media; ages 8 – 12 spend an average of 6 hours per day; and ages 13 and up spend an average of 9 hours on screen media per day.2 And these stats are from 2016. Just imagine what they are now.

There is a great need of the cultivation of true refinement in the home—for that’s where manners start. The essence of true politeness is a consideration for others. The essential, enduring education is that which broadens the sympathies and encourages universal kindliness.3

And Then It Spreads

A report “America the Rude” by CBS news stated, “Americans are ruder than they were 20 or 30 years ago. The trend is noticed in large and small places alike, although more urban people report bad manners, 74 percent than do people in rural areas, 67 percent.

A whopping 93 percent in the AP-Ipsos poll faulted parents for failing to teach their children well.” 4 Among adult behavior, 91 percent cited aggressive or reckless driving as the most frequent discourtesy.

I blame the media. The most bombastic, rude, narcissistic personalities get their own TV shows. The same types are also theater headliners. And by beholding we become changed. Or to put it more evolutionarily, monkey see, monkey do.   

So thanks to Joe Biden, the media, and America the Rude, I can now tell Mike, my marketing coach, it appears there is a market for manners and class–now more than ever, in fact.

How about a class to learn some class?

Resources:

  1. https://www.bostonherald.com/2019/04/06/hands-on-joe-biden-is-all-about-ego/
  2. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/about-us/news/press-releases/landmark-report-us-teens-use-an-average-of-nine-hours-of-media-per-day
  3. https://m.egwwritings.org/en/book/128.1955#1969
  4. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/america-the-rude/
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Lynelle DeRoo RDH, BSDH, CEI https://www.lynellederoo.com A 35-year veteran dental hygienist, Lynelle speaks, consults, and teaches about, not only oral health, but also its often-forgotten, yet vital counterpart - professional etiquette. Also known as class. Because dental practitioners don’t get extra points for being cold, aloof, or using clinical jargon. Our true professional genius lies in the candor of our social engagement, the messaging of our body language, the respectability of our mannerisms, the sharpness of our dress, and our abilities to translate the hard to understand. While degrees, certifications, and licenses are crucial elements in any clinical repertoire, Lynelle’s work reveals the invaluable personal and professional rewards gained by exuding confidence, warmth, and clout. Because, though titles may be impressive, it’s the strength of our honed trustworthiness that actually leaves an impression. In other words, to raise your status and work environments for the better - you first have to raise the bar. Ms. DeRoo is an accomplished speaker, writer, advisor and owner of Brush For Life®, with an ultimate mission to change the way the world brushes. Her presentations, “From Class to Cash” and “Psychology of Prestige” fall under her umbrella program, The Exceptional Professional which trains experts how to “level up” to gain and retain affluent clientele. Contact her today to speak at your event. Lynelle lives where the wild poppies grow in the high desert of Southern California with her husband and two fur-babies, a Calico and Cane Corso Mastiff.

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